Looking back over 2009

I was looking back at my horoscope for 2009 (thank you Jonathan Cainer), and thought that, yet again, he really hit it on the head.

I took his advance and really DID try to just not be too hard on myself even though I really DID feel like things were all too hard, not clear, being pulled in 2 directions. Just when I felt like things were going my way, they would just as quickly start to “rewind” and completely fall away. I did try to just enjoy the ride, and I think that was the best advice anyone could have given me.

I really did think I would find a job in Paris in 2009. Well, I did. I found 2. But then they didnt have time to wait until my work visa was processed. Hence – back to square 1.

I thought I would be able to rent my own apartment, and set up my own little Parisian life. Well, I did get a cool little vibe going, just in a rented room. OK, I’ll admit, it wasnt really what I’d hoped for, but I was so lucky to find great landlords and be located in the best area in Paris (the Marais .

I did NOT want a permanent boyfriend. Too many things to do, experience, see etc. And yeah. I got a permanent boyfriend. But then, turns out that he’s fabulous and was happy to come exploring with me as well. And without him, I would NEVER have had such an authentic French experience. And my French would be nowhere near the level it is now.

I wrote on my FB profile a sentence also written by Cainer for Aquarians this week:

“To live but one hour in a state of supreme joy is to fulfill the potential of a lifetime.“

And when I think about all the reasons why I felt so strongly that I needed to take the leap and move to Paris, I realise that 2009 was really the year where I lived in a state of supreme joy, despite the difficulties. I fulfilled the potential of a lifetime: for myself, and for my Mum and my grandmother, who didnt have the same opportunities that I have. All those years of crazy dreams about being a “child of the world” and living in a country that challenged my language ability and cultural beliefs – I finally did it. And maybe also (I hope), I gave those who heard about my crazy adventure, reason to keep believing in their crazy adventure, and maybe even take a more confident, excited step towards it.

Looking back over 2009, would I have changed any of it? Nope. Not one thing.

Here’s a copy of my 2009 prediction, for those who are keen on that sort of stuff

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Aquarius
Aquarius Year Ahead 2009

Saturn and Uranus began to form an opposition towards the end of 2008. They continue to oppose each other all year and won’t go their separate ways till 2010. Thus the sky informs us that you are in a process which has got a lot further to take you and which won’t fully clear itself up for some while.

Meanwhile, Jupiter is in Aquarius, all year. That’s about as good as it gets. It means you are going to be powerful and strong. This, you may need to be because there will be moments when you feel as if you are being torn in two. Already you are trying to be in two places at the same time or are feeling two mutually exclusive demands upon your resources. How bad is that? It depends on whether you want an easy life.

Easy lives are overrated. Lots of people have them, some of the time, at least. They often find themselves feeling empty as a result. There is no chance of you having an empty existence in 2009. Every moment is going to be rich with meaning. There will be moments when it seems to you like it’s all too much, but all that’s needed is for you to stop trying to make everything perfect. At no level of your life do you face a situation which can be neatly squared off and put away with a ribbon round it.

The secret of success in 2009, is learning to deal with paradox and mystery. We have this idea that mysteries must be solved. Actually, mysteries are not meant to be solved but celebrated. They give life depth. You’ve got mysteries in your life now; things you don’t know about and things you don’t know what on earth to do with. Nor, will you necessarily know as the year goes by. If you are going to let that eat you up, you will get eaten up. But if, instead of struggling with the waves of change and challenge that come into your life, you build yourself a psychic surfboard and say, ‘I don’t care.’ you will cruise away from all the issues that have been unsatisfactory up until now. In 2009, along with the impossible things which you have to put up with, are all the impossible things that can only come into your life when you are thinking impossible thoughts. Many of those are going to be wonderful. Embrace them.

Latest update:

You have, I trust, read the accompanying article about Saturn and Uranus, their rare opposition and how, during 2009, they will bring sudden change and challenge to just about every established, conventional institution or organisation on earth. Of course you have. You’re a diligent detail-spotting Aquarian. You went straight there first. Or if you didn’t, you were intending to any moment.

I apologise for insulting your intelligence by telling you things you already know. Or failing to appreciate how ahead of the game you are. In 2009, though, you may be glad of all the helpful reminders and pointers you can get. Something is already taxing your strength and testing your patience. Your sign is governed by BOTH Saturn… and Uranus. Think of them as your guardian angels. Now envisage them standing, back-to-back across the sky, each facing away from each other, each determined to drag you along with them. Now, think of the tough choices you are already trying to make and the many more that await you. The good news? You can make a tense situation work for you, just by deciding to be less hard on yourself and less expectant of ‘perfect solutions’. The only way to fix what looks set to be this year’s biggest problem is through some kind of fudge. Never mind forever. What about for now? Break more rules. Treat yourself to more activites that truly inspire you. That’s the way ahead for you this year. But then, you already knew that, didn’t you!