OK, after a year in Paris, and after reading possibly every book there is on what foreigners think about French culture and values, I think I’m getting the hang of some of the themes….
Politeness
You wont get ANYTHING done in France unless you’re polite. And not just basic common decency, I mean OTT, almost grovelling type politeness. One of my favourite ways to witness this is when listening to French people call someone “official” (including customer service lines for your internet etc – oh, and recruiters…). Their voice becomes soft, higher pitched, sweet as sunshine. They use all forms of politeness: Mr, Mrs, I’m very sorry to disturb you, I’m not disturbing you, am I?, I just have a small problem and I would be SO grateful if you could help me, oh? you cant help me? and you dont know anyone else who can?, oh, well, thank you very much for your time, I wish you a very good day, good bye”. Even if they’re in the wrong, if you’re not polite, they really will hang-up/tell you to piss-off/not answer your question.
The same goes for the markets and boulangeries: you MUST say hello and you must say please and thank you and you must put on your best accent and formal pronounciation. If a stall holder asks you if you would like your potato galette heated, you must never say “Bah, ouah!” (Translation: “Ummm, yeah!”). Just try it, and see the stall holders face look like they’ve just bitten into a lemon. If it’s a fairly touristy market, they will probably bite their tongue, but beware of doing that in a locals market. I wouldnt even dare do that in a boulangerie – even if you do get your bread, it’s likely to be the baguette that is over-cooked, was dropped on the ground and it will be given with a sneer. Most times, I think you’d probably get yelled at or told that there is no bread available (then serve the person behind you, with their pretty French accent).
And public transport: oh dear. Here is where you’ll find yourself yelled at pretty quickly if you arent polite. I have heard screaming rows on the metro because a man had inadvertently touched a woman in a sensitive spot (I’m not sure where, and maybe he did it intentionally, who knows?). Oh boy, did he get a slammed by the woman and her female friends. Even the very polite French will make it very clear to you that you are very badly brought up and that you really had better find somewhere else to stand.
Pride
The thing that I find interesting is the reaction to abuses of politeness. The Japanese are a polite culture, but breaches of these rules are not met with assertive statements proclaiming that a rule has been breached and that there will be retribution. Why do the French make it known that you’ve been impolite? I think it’s pride. They are very proud people. They are proud of their culture and traditions and will shout it to the rooftops. They are also proud of themselves, and believe that they are, quite often, superior to everyone. Without a doubt, the French will tell you, straight-faced, that France and French people basically invented everything. M says that a Frenchman invented electronic/dance music, for example. OK, maybe Jean-Michel Jarre was one of the pioneers of this genre, but, ya know, maybe Kraftwerk was doing some similar stuff at the same time and how can we REALLY be sure who “invented” it? No, it’s a fact, he says, the French invented dance music. Ok…..
Passion
The French are hot-blooded animals. Even those wealthy sophisticated Parisiens will find a way to channel their passion: political debates, hot sexy affairs, lingerie. It doesnt matter what it is, be it the state of the economy, or the quality of the eggplants at the market, the French will find a way to be passionately involved in everything.
I’m sure there are lots of other things, but these 3 P’s just struck me as I was doing the washing up today ((how glamorous!)